I can not believe this. They just called and my levels are still at 171 so I have to have a second Methotrexate shot!!
I swear if there is only a slight chance on it happening…..it’s gonna happen to me!
AAAUUUGGGHHHH
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
16 years later....
As I sit here watching Prison Wives, one of my new favorite shows, I just realized – in 3 short hours my brother in law will walk out outside without being surrounded by guards for the first time in 16 years! His release date is Thursday, March 11th which means he will be released at midnight tonight.
Can you imagine being held in a room the size of your bathroom for 16 years? I can’t but then again I am of the persuasion that I will never do anything to put myself in that situation. I guess nothing is certain in life but I have no plans of ever putting myself in any situation that gets me locked in the bathroom so to speak.
Last night I was watching a show and a man was being let out of prison for the first time in 10 years and it took him 45 minutes to pick out deodorant. He said he had never had any options and after the 45 minutes he ended up picking the type he used in prison because that is what he knew. I can not imagine.
This is the time when I wish I was independently wealthy because I would take the next two months and follow Scott and watch his face while he relearns the world. When Scott went into the penitentiary the next big thing in cell phones was going to be the flip phone. He has never used a computer, never been on the internet and has no idea how to use an ATM card. He literally has to relearn the world. Think of where you were 16 years ago and where you are today.
Can you imagine being held in a room the size of your bathroom for 16 years? I can’t but then again I am of the persuasion that I will never do anything to put myself in that situation. I guess nothing is certain in life but I have no plans of ever putting myself in any situation that gets me locked in the bathroom so to speak.
Last night I was watching a show and a man was being let out of prison for the first time in 10 years and it took him 45 minutes to pick out deodorant. He said he had never had any options and after the 45 minutes he ended up picking the type he used in prison because that is what he knew. I can not imagine.
This is the time when I wish I was independently wealthy because I would take the next two months and follow Scott and watch his face while he relearns the world. When Scott went into the penitentiary the next big thing in cell phones was going to be the flip phone. He has never used a computer, never been on the internet and has no idea how to use an ATM card. He literally has to relearn the world. Think of where you were 16 years ago and where you are today.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
2 shots in 1
They have discovered that my pregnancy was a tubal pregnancy and as of Thursday I was still pregnant. I had to go in on Thursday afternoon and have the Methotexate shot. This was not what I wanted and I begged them to find another solution. There just wasn’t another one. The D&C wouldn’t have worked because there was nothing to clear out - it was in my tube, not my uterus. Of course insurance didn’t pay for this medicine either. I am not quiet sure what they pay for because none of this has been covered so far. Dr. Rodriguez came in and talked to us first just to tell us how sorry he was and ask if we had any questions. I knew I had to do it when he said “if you were my daughter this is what I would suggest. I know what the ultimate goal is but right now I have to do what is best for you”. He really is a good doctor, in my opinion.
They gave me the shot, 2 shots actually. Wilson is officially not allowed to go with me ever again. :-)
I don’t look at anything they are about to do when it comes to needles. I don’t watch them give me shots, I don’t look at the needles beforehand, I don’t watch them when they are drawing my blood, nothing. So when they came in and uncovered the tray with the shots on it the first thing out of Wilson’s mouth is “OMG that is a big needle” and then proceeded to show me how big it was with his hands!!! He did the same thing the other day when he went with me to get my blood drawn. 2 strikes and you are out!!
Thursday after the doctors visit we went to Garrett’s parent teacher night to talk to his Math teacher. The ex wife was there but not the step-douche so it wasn’t bad. Although I think she is a complete idiot, she is tolerable without her sidekick. Came home that night and just watched TV, didn’t really feel anything too terrible. I knew something was going on but it really just felt like I was about to start my period. Then I fell asleep - I shouldn’t have done that because when I woke up I felt like I was hit by a mack truck. Every bit of my body hurt. The paperwork said it could give you flu like symptoms and that’s exactly what it did. We had a farewell lunch for a girl at work on Friday and I really wanted to get up and go to that but I just couldn’t muster up the energy. I will say whoever invented the heating pad is my new best friend. I’m sure it was a woman!
I basically didn’t leave the bed all day. It was horrible - I hated it because when you feel bad you think of all the things you could be doing that do not consist of laying in bed.
Saturday I got up and started moving around. I was feeling much better. Cramping was still there but the body aches were gone. Bev went and got us some breakfast and I got up ate and felt much better. Lance and my Aunt and Uncle came over to work on the new motor home. It felt good to have people at the house and have a reason to walk around outside. I just took a shower and about to go up to Target to get a gift card for a friend. The cramps are still there and don’t feel good at all but I am tired of laying around and not feeling good. All the paperwork says all the aches should be over and done with in approximately 72 hours so maybe another day of this and that’s it. The next 12 weeks are going to be hard but I know in the end it will all be worth it.
They gave me the shot, 2 shots actually. Wilson is officially not allowed to go with me ever again. :-)
I don’t look at anything they are about to do when it comes to needles. I don’t watch them give me shots, I don’t look at the needles beforehand, I don’t watch them when they are drawing my blood, nothing. So when they came in and uncovered the tray with the shots on it the first thing out of Wilson’s mouth is “OMG that is a big needle” and then proceeded to show me how big it was with his hands!!! He did the same thing the other day when he went with me to get my blood drawn. 2 strikes and you are out!!
Thursday after the doctors visit we went to Garrett’s parent teacher night to talk to his Math teacher. The ex wife was there but not the step-douche so it wasn’t bad. Although I think she is a complete idiot, she is tolerable without her sidekick. Came home that night and just watched TV, didn’t really feel anything too terrible. I knew something was going on but it really just felt like I was about to start my period. Then I fell asleep - I shouldn’t have done that because when I woke up I felt like I was hit by a mack truck. Every bit of my body hurt. The paperwork said it could give you flu like symptoms and that’s exactly what it did. We had a farewell lunch for a girl at work on Friday and I really wanted to get up and go to that but I just couldn’t muster up the energy. I will say whoever invented the heating pad is my new best friend. I’m sure it was a woman!
I basically didn’t leave the bed all day. It was horrible - I hated it because when you feel bad you think of all the things you could be doing that do not consist of laying in bed.
Saturday I got up and started moving around. I was feeling much better. Cramping was still there but the body aches were gone. Bev went and got us some breakfast and I got up ate and felt much better. Lance and my Aunt and Uncle came over to work on the new motor home. It felt good to have people at the house and have a reason to walk around outside. I just took a shower and about to go up to Target to get a gift card for a friend. The cramps are still there and don’t feel good at all but I am tired of laying around and not feeling good. All the paperwork says all the aches should be over and done with in approximately 72 hours so maybe another day of this and that’s it. The next 12 weeks are going to be hard but I know in the end it will all be worth it.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Now i'm actually hoping the numbers are going down??
I had to go back to the doctor today. I haven’t really started my period yet, which is kind of strange in this situation. They drew MORE blood and did a sonogram. The sonogram showed that my uterine wall was still very thick, as it would be if I were still pregnant, but there was nothing in the uterus. They are thinking now it could possibly be an etopic pregnancy. I will know more tomorrow when the blood levels come back. Those dang blood levels again. Anyway, if they are still dropping then we just wait and I will probably go back in next Monday and do this all over again. If they have gone up then I will have to take Methotrexate which is used for chemotherapy treatment. Basically it will stop the reproduction of rapid producing cells. IF they have to give me this medication we will not be able to try again for at least 3 months. The Methotrexate has some side effects that can cause serious birth defects. Another possibility is a D & C, where they will just go in and expel everything manually. From what I am reading this is the fastest way but it also has more complications.
At this point I don’t know what to think. Dr. Rodriguez did say he was almost certain that the pregnancy was in the uterus but he could not be 100% sure. We will just have to wait and see tomorrow when the blood work comes back.
I will be heartbroken if we have to put everything on hold for 3 months. After everything that has happened this month and then to be told to wait, again.
At this point I am just praying my numbers are going down on their own and I will start my cycle very soon. It’s hard to move past something that keeps continuing.
At this point I don’t know what to think. Dr. Rodriguez did say he was almost certain that the pregnancy was in the uterus but he could not be 100% sure. We will just have to wait and see tomorrow when the blood work comes back.
I will be heartbroken if we have to put everything on hold for 3 months. After everything that has happened this month and then to be told to wait, again.
At this point I am just praying my numbers are going down on their own and I will start my cycle very soon. It’s hard to move past something that keeps continuing.
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